Fandom: Sleeping Beauty/The Hunchback of Notre Dame/Puella Magi Madoka Magica
“A scared Madoka tried to run off but Maleficent got close enough for him to seize half of the baby’s blanket. Maleficent then struck Madoka maliciously with her staff, resulting in the girl to let go and for her to hit the steps too hard. She stoped moving. She was now dead.”
one there was a guy named ashbe darty and he was tumblr famos and he was pretty cool be liked happy potter n stuff and that was cdool i guess. one day he was playin vide games in da arcase an he said “oh man wow look its sugar rush lyk from da movie wow Im gonna play it now” and he put his quartr in and plaid the game. all of sudden he started feel funny and said “wat happening?” with confuse and den he was sucked into da game!!?
“wow” ashbe said at the candy all around n he startd to eat sum. it was real good like real candy. “haha this is cool n stuff wow” ashbe said as he eat mor canyd. all of a sudden e hear a weird noise from somewhere. “who there” said ashbe. “it’s me dude” said king candy cybug because he was king candy but cybug but also tuebo in some werd way. “dang dude ur a big bug” said ashbe. “yep and I’m gonna give u sum candy if u kno wha I mean ~~~~” “alright yeah candy das good” said ashbe exited for mor candy. but it wasn’t candy. it was bug dik.
“haha look at me weird bug dick” said king candy turbo bug guy. “haha wow yeah that’s a weid dick theiir” said ashbe. “well do u wanna have the sex or not” said bug cybug candy guy. “okay sure” said ashbe and he took off clothes sexy and did a nakd thing and open butt and said “yeah okay u do thing?? now??q?” and suddenly bug dick!! and he came frostng and it was all gud.
“that was sum good bug dick for sure” said ashbe darty. “yeah bro np hit me up if u want sum more of dis” said turb candy king bug. and den ashbe came back from game into humen world again. “hehe” he said an went home to read more happy potter.
the end??!?!?!?!! ((ps I love you a lot and I love the ashbe darty au))
——————————
this AU is ruining my life
i
what
that’s because you are the only person in this fandom who ships them
WHAT IF I STARTED SHIPPING THEM BECAUSE OF THIS SECRET…
“Ooh, my little honeycomb…you’re stho tight…” The King’s eyelids flutter as his jokester facade breaks, his goofy lisp settling into something much lower and much needier. For such a small man he’s surprisingly large - that combined with his roughness makes you yelp when he thrusts particularly hard. Even then, those thrusts create a little ember of pleasure that begins to build in your lower half, & you can’t help it when those painful yelps become moans just as needy as the King’s.
“Ah…sthuch a…good little gumdrop…ah…you love your King, don’t you?”
You nod, pulling on your sugary restraints as the King thrusts even faster. A few moments later, however, he abruptly stops, still fully inside you, making you whine at the sudden loss of sensation.
“N-now now, sthugarpum…before I give you my filling, there’s sthomething I need you to do…”
You nod vigorously - at this point, you’d do anything just for him to start moving again.
“I need you to sthay that I’m the best racer ever - can you do that for me, cupcake?”
“Y…you’re the…best racer ever…,” you say, quietly, and the King buries his head in your neck and starts thrusting again.
“Sthay it again,” he hisses, and you repeat the mantra, louder each time, your voice quivering as he lets out a low moan.
“Th-that’s it gumdrop…one more time…”
You say it again, and with a final hard thrust the King finishes inside you, muttering something that you can’t quite make out, just a T-sound over and over again. After a few long seconds he pulls out and rolls off of you, immediately heading for his clothes and redressing as if nothing had happened.
“Ah, how fun!” he says, his joking tone returning. “Now I have sthome kingly buithness to attend to, but if you wait like the good little honeycomb you are, I’ll be back for some more, aheh, playtime!~ Now uh…uh, how does sthe sthay it, eh…heh, sthay sthweet!~”
((sometimes I wonder about myself but I’m a writer dammit and this is what I do at 2:30am so yeah I hope you had fun with the candy d))
The Lightbulb Man
moleskine
by Kyle Saxton
I don’t know what this is supposed to be or how to tag it.
i think it’s an alt-costume Eustace Bagg, like from Courage the Cowardly Dog
oh my god oh my god oh my god
the ending oh my god
fuck
this blog navarre why would you send me here this is simultaneously awful and hilarious send help
fuck
