Things I should do:
What I’m doing:
About an hour and a half ago, a local man, age 19, made plans to go to bed but never went through with them.
Ashby Daugherty, of Clayton, Ohio, had made plans on going to bed before two in the morning, but somewhere in the past hour and a half he has instead managed to read the entire history of a fictional civilization, lose his pants, and belt hit showstoppers from Broadway’s Wicked, as well as watch some porn, tidy up his desk area, and eat seven Andes mint chocolates.
When asked about this failure to follow through on his intentions, he responded, “I honestly have no fucking clue how I got here. I looked at the clock, it was 3:30, my pants were gone and I was hitting the high in “Defying Gravity” while I chewed on some Tic-Tac mints.” Looking both moderately tired and upset with himself, Ashby added: “And then I got on the fucking Internet and blogged about it. I’m sure I’ll be refreshing Tumblr for the next hour to see how the post spreads, while simultaneously trimming a few playlists and playing a Steam game or two.”
When asked for final comments, Ashby had one thing to say: “Don’t be like me. If you become like me, just fucking kill yourself.”
and these parents kind of suck
and their kid runs away
and they don’t understand why
highlight so far:
Dad: “Yeah, when she had the haircut and piercing and stuff, I kept calling her dyke as a way of telling her that she looked like a lesbian. But then she came out as a lesbian. And uh. So, it turns out that for years I might have been offending her. And that hurts me. Why did she run away?”
No but seriously.
Go Dr. Phil parents.
Good work, team.
Ashby wants you to know that it’s Friday.
Oh my sweet sweet Christ.
You actually did this.
CONTEXT: we had found the song about an hour before this. And proceeded to listen on repeat.
It may have been because it was 5am that this video happened, but you know. Whatever.
Mother fucking Friday.
a classic exam week video
my coffee tastes stale, that’s weird, it says it was made a few months ago, it shouldn’t be this ba—oh.
It was made a year and a few months ago