So
Tonight’s been odd
Trolls fucking everywhere
So here’s the deal
I’m pretty sure I’ve never done a love or relationships or whatever post ever, unless it’s been like “AUGH I NEED TO FUCK A THING OR SOMETHING” so I should prolly do one now.
Okay.
So.
There’s this book. And I feel that this book can completely explain what I want from a relationship.
The name of this book is.
Oh god.
People are gonna know about this.
Augh.
Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist.
So, before you judge the fuck out of me because you watched the movie and Michael Cera and blah blah. Movie=/=Book. Completely different. Much better.
Okay, so basically, there’s these two kids.
Well, like 18.
And the one’s in a band and the other’s just this girl who went to a gig thing in a bar.
And then, to escape the fate of running into a bluhbluh huge bitch, they decide to date for five minutes.
And, after shenanigans, the five minute date extends, ends, breaks, gets picked up, dies, and it just, it feels awesome. The events aren’t planned, they just… play out. And like.
They just.
They derp.
They get drinks. They see concerts. They explore New York. They bump into friends and not friends. They watch… uh… nuns make out. At a drag show. A performance of the Sound of Music.
Like.
This whole book.
And there’s just these moments.
Like, dancing in the rain. And then looking at the lights reflected in the asphalt as they sit on the edge of a fountain and discuss like. Their beliefs about life and humanity. And. Like. The whole book is this beautiful moment after moment playout and it ends with this whole sense of “that was awesome.” And the final scene just… it lets you playout the rest of the story.
And I want my life to be that story.
So.
LADIEZ.
If you want THIS. *points seductively to self*
It’s not very hard.
Just. Like.
Ask me to go do something with you.
We can go walk around Coumbus or just High Street or hell just campus. Or we can go to a dance/rave. Or we can see a concert. Or we can go to Burritos Noche and take over the Akoo screens. Or we can play the piano in the Union until they kick us out. OR go to Sloopy’s until they close. Or get PAD and sit in the big window area and stare at the lights reflecting in the river. Or go on a photography binge. Or just listen to random music and be awesome. Or get drunk. Go to a party. Go to a movie. Just sit in a quiet area and hug or be together or hold hands. Or make a loud, distracting noise in a quiet area. Or just. Derp. Fuck around. Do anything. As along as we can have fun and be awesome and hang out and have fun. Like. That’s ALL I want.
Now, there’s like. The whole sex? Makeouts? Etc? question.
The answer is.
Not really, I guess.
I mean.
I like that list (well, okay, I’ve never had the sex, but god, making out is rad) but I mean. I don’t necessarily need it. It’s nice. And if I’m drunk, chances are I’ll be much more interested. But at the moment. I mean. I don’t feel like dating just to get my bang on.
That and
Well, I’m weird and awkward and really wouldn’t want to have the sex unless I knew the person and like. Was comfortable with it.
Not that I could get stranger sex. I’m too bloody awkward.
“Uh. Hi. Uh. I’m Ashby. Uh. Well. Uh. I think you’re modestly attractive and well, I was kid of wondering if you’d like the um uh well sex or something I mean if you aren’t busy and you don’t mind”
Anyways.
That’s my weird relationships post. This covers most all of the bases. So yeah. Any other questions about me and relationship shit? Run over to the ask box, or reply to this shit. Sorry it’s so long.
TL;DR
I AM A LOSER.
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